Your helping hand.
In a meeting last week, a colleague of mine brought up an article she had read recently about how such people as POWs, or people who have other horrifically traumatic experiences, go on to have productive and meaningful lives.
When a baby cries, he cries until his needs are met. If the parent guesses wrong, thinking feeding rather than diaper change, the baby keeps crying. If a child needs a hug and kiss after a fall, it doesn’t really matter if the “wound” is just a scrape. Even if the “wound” is, in reality, non-existent, she needs someone to see, validate, and empathize with her pain.
Even happily married couples can stumble on the way. When this happens, couples can either go it alone or reach out for guidance from a trained, experienced marriage counselor. Sometimes when it is not possible for both partners to attend counseling, individual counseling can still be helpful.
Janie recently entered therapy with me to address symptoms related to domestic violence. She had left her abusive marriage several years before, but recently, she had been experiencing increased nightmares, difficulty sleeping, and high anxiety. She struggled to concentrate at work, and was having a lot of trouble with crying spells.
You feel anxious. What is going on? Perhaps this anxiety is affecting your relationship. Perhaps you have a shorter fuse these days. Or perhaps you have noticed you are playing a lot of video games.
The other day I was in a therapy session with a couple. As the two of them were discussing a recent conflict, I realized that much of their difficulties were stemming from the fact that my client was an HSP or Highly Sensitive Person. This presents them with unique challenges.
Gridlock isn’t just for the freeway. It also happens in the home. Here are some tips for developing relationship skills to overcome gridlock in your relationship.
Jane and Jack are a personable, well educated couple seeking couples counseling. They state they struggle with expectations around household chores. Their Sundays have begun to feel like the movie “Groundhog Day.”
A person’s attachment style tends to be his or her mental model of human connection. A view of self and other in the world.
1) Learn to speak “for” not “from” your feelings:
What does this mean, you might ask? It might look something like this: Instead of saying “I can’t believe you made me go to Costco by myself in the middle of a pandemic,” you might say “It was pretty lonely standing in that line at Costco waiting to get in, and I found myself feeling really afraid, and you weren’t there for me, instead you were still at home sleeping. When things like that happen, I feel really alone.” See the difference?
Our brains are magnificent machines and nutrition plays a big role in the way it function. While the brain controls rudimentary yet complex functions like your heartbeat, breathing and motor functions, it also controls a multitude of other complicated tasks such as creating your thoughts and feelings. A machine this advanced, that runs 24/7, clearly requires fuel to run. The fuel you supply to your hard-working brain is none other than the food and drink you consume.
Going through a divorce can be a tumultuous time for any adult, and for children it can feel like their world is falling apart. It can be confusing for children to have two homes, particularly in the early stages of divorce. But there are ways to bring positivity and excitement to this change, while reducing your child’s stress significantly.
You’ve probably heard this a thousand times, but here it is again: Relationships are tough and they require constant work. You and your partner have to be ready to put in the work every single day, and one way to do this is through constant evaluation of your relationship.
In our relationships, we are all vulnerable.
Paradoxically, when we embrace that vulnerability, we open ourselves to the real juice of life.
We acknowledge the courage it takes to show yourself to someone you just met. Our goal is to make counseling a safe and supportive atmosphere where you feel heard and understood. If you are struggling, we are here to help.